12 years ago, Coca Cola marked its triumphant entry into the Pakistani music industry and changed the game with the arrival of Coke Studio. Since then, Nescafe Basement and Pepsi Battle of the Bands have followed the formula with a great success as well.
As the corporate involvement in the local creative industry increases, other brands have also cashed in on the trend, including Cornetto, Strepsils and now even a nicotine brand such as Velo have dived into the waters too. Now we can’t help but wonder (as Sarah Lynn would say in Bojack Horeman’s Horsin’ Around), “That’s too much, man!”
As advertising takes over our lives and brands gradually take over the creative industries, we also couldn’t but wonder what other brands would follow Velo and attempt making a mark in the music industry. Here are five brand-sponsored shows who could give the predecessors a tough competition.
- Durex Dhamaal
I’m sure we had your attention, but after reading this title, we have your curiosity. Regardless of the quality of music, this show could possibly top Coke Studio in terms of popularity. Just look at the intrigue level. The title raises a lot of questions in our minds. What format would the show be based on? What would the color schemes of the set be? What will be distributed to the contestants and most of all, what would the winner be awarded?
We can’t tell you everything but from what we can guess, the music, as the title says, will be of bhangra and hip-hop genre. If you’re excited about the new music ventures in Pakistan, wait till Durex Dhamaal turns the heat up… literally.
2. Sathi Sureela
If Durex Dhamaal were to have an upbeat bhangra music theme, Sathi Sureela would be its exact opposite. The show would be comprised of duets and will feature the classical music talent. The name says it all – two competitor vocalists will team up to see who’s more ‘sureela’.
With mellow and melodious vibes, this show will more likely cater to the old souls, who enjoy a companionship of alaap, tobacco pipes and lowkey lighting.
3. Harpic Harmonies
We can bet this would be the worst reality TV music show in the history of reality TV and music shows. Sure, the set would smell… nice and all but for how long? And pretty sure you wouldn’t want to know what the set would look like either.
On the other hand, this might bring out all the bathroom singers, like me, to audition and maybe even make a name for themselves. The audition tapes would be of people singing in their toilets and the echo off the walls making them sound like Tansen. Because hey, we all sound great when we sing during a shower… or so we think.
4. Dhinchak with Tuc
Taking inspiration from the Indian music legend, Dhinchak Pooja, this show would totally give competition to Harpic Harmonies for the honor of the worst musical show ever. Although just like social media, it’d be a great platform for all the Poojas and the Taher Shahs out there. Might as well indulge in our generation’s favorite pastime and discover the next object of mockery and make them famous?
5. Mortein Master Metalheads
This one is a personal favorite. The killer instincts of Mortein would be a great parallel to draw upon and invite heavy metal bands to showcase their talent. The smoky atmosphere (with no mosquitoes, mind you; that’s important), crimson lighting and guitar riffs that would awake the goth in you, would all come together to make a perfect platform to find the next Lemmy Kilmister, or if looking for bands, the next Motorhead, Black Sabbath or Metallica. Or Mortellica? Alright, no. I’ll just see myself out.